MikeFarag.com

Walk and Talk

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You can’t have a good conversation when the TV is on. You just can’t.

You can’t talk about life-changing, soul-wrenching topics when you are at a movie theatre, or driving, or at a club.

It just doesn’t work.

When I was a kid I remember nearly every night after dinner my folks would head off to talk.  Many times we would hear them laughing and talking. It made an impression on me.  I knew it wasn’t the weather report or even just the days activity download they were after.  They were making decisions, talking about life, sharing moments.

I find that my wife and I have two such places for our talks: outside on a walk and on our couch at home.  We don’t own a TV so there are limited distractions. It allows big topics to form and gives us time to really dive in.

I wonder what would happen if we all spent more time walking and talking and less time glued to the next episode of <insert any TV show here>?

Would we know our date, wife, husband, brother or friends better or worse?

You Need A Team

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To build something truly remarkable you need a team.  Alone doesn’t work.

Think about it…

The best house.

The best business.

The best marriage.

Trying to go it alone is not only no fun.  It’s also nearly impossible.

Building a team that can help you (your business, your marriage and even your house) be remarkable is quite possible. Forget the lone ranger stuff and build your team.

You’re Not Picasso: Just Get It Done

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My Dad and I used to paint houses when I was in high school and college.  As a high school teacher and football coach, his summers were free – and we painted in the summer for years.

He still gets asked to paint and sometimes we’ll do a house together just to spend some time together or earn some vacation money.

When we would be out there on a sweltering hot August day, one of his favorite lines was:

“You are not Picasso, just get it done”

I can still hear the tone in his voice and the and the point is unmistakable.  Don’t waste time, get moving, paint it and move on.

  • So many times we agonize over little details and think that a project has to be perfect for us to act.  You’re not Picasso.
  • So many times we debate and debate over what features need to be on a product before launch. You’re not Picasso.
  • Too many times we over-think what we already know to be true and delay. You’re not Picasso.

Seth Godin calls it the Lizard Brain, but at its core it’s the same thing.  It’s the delayed action that causes us not to do what it takes to get the job done.

Let’s not do that, You are not Picasso.

The Voice in Your Ear

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Today, I took my mom for physical therapy following her knee replacement. We were in the waiting room when I noticed to a son and his mother making their way into the facility. The mother had obviously had a stroke and was disabled on her left side severely. Her hand and arm hung loose. She slowly shuffled in as her son, probably 19 or 20, helped her into the rehab facility, holding her and whispering in her ear the whole way.

I couldn’t hear what they were saying until they were right in front of me. When I did, I was struck what he was saying:

“You can do it mom, you are doing great!”

“Keep going, keep striving, Mom! Look how far you have come.”

“I know it’s hard, but you remember when you couldn’t even walk?!”

It was apparent that he cared a great deal for his mother, it was also clear that he believed in her. I could tell it made a difference in her belief in her ability as well.

The voice in her ear was kind, strong, encouraging and no doubt contributing greatly to her recovery.

Of course, that kind of encouragement works for recovery. But it’s bigger than that. It works for your marriage, your business, your career, your parenting. If the voice in your ear says “Leave her, it’s too hard” or “You’re not gonna make it as a manager” or “It’s too risky to venture out on your own,” sooner or later you will begin to believe it.

The voice in your ear is an important one for more than recovery. The voice in your ear matters for growth too. What’s being whispered to you? Are you spurred on to action or are you told to run and hide?

Choose carefully those who are whispering to you.

Know Your WHO: charity water

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I attended BIG KC, a two-and-a-half day event that aims to inspire, educate and celebrate the entrepreneurial ecosystem in the heart of the Midwest. Produced by Silicon Prairie News, the conference started as Big Omaha as early as 2010 and this was their first year in KC.

Good event, overall. But honestly, I love more interaction and some of the speakers weren’t as prepared to share their content or story as they could have been. They missed their WHY and WHO.

There were a few who didn’t – one whom I’ve admired for several years: Scott Harrison from charity: water. He started with a simple presentation formula:

  1. Tell them what you’re going to tell them
  2. Tell them
  3. Tell them what you told them and ask them to come with you

He wove his personal story with the story of the water crisis and put a face on the people who where engaged in helping. We could see ourselves in those pictures and stories. It’s not rocket science: we all want to be part of something bigger than ourselves and we innately want to join others who are as passionate as we are about something specific. Scott did a great job of engaging the audience with that fact.

 

 

It puts a personal picture on a very serious issue: WHY Scott does what he does. Perhaps even more impactful is WHO is engaging in this effort to impact the world. It’s not difficult to identify people and groups that have similar qualities. I’m not talking about simple demographic qualities, but behavioral and personal passions.

At Fervor, we call this WHO: The People Strategy. It’s diving into the top three people groups you and your organization work with and want to replicate. Not everyone, just the ones who your story clicks with, the ones who give you and your organization energy. These are your advocates.

Yes, it means that you leave some people out. Thats okay. In fact, it’s imperative in order to grow.

Knowing your WHO lets you tell their story and gather more of them.

 

Motion Creates Emotion

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We’ve heard it before…a body in motion tends to stay in motion and a body at rest tends to stay at rest.

This is not only true for exercise it is true for our lives in so many ways.

A marriage at rest tends to stay at rest.

A business at rest tends to stay at rest.

A book…

A blog post…

A new venture…

Although we need rest at times, that only comes after a period of moving, doing or creating.

It’s time to move.  Motion creates emotion. That gets us going, and once we are moving it’s so much easier to stay that way.

Handwritten Thank You

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Writing has power. Handwriting is more personal and thus more powerful. Saying thank you using an age old traditional format….still king.

There are over 40 states that are now phasing our teaching cursive in public schools, they say it’s not relevant any longer.  I may not argue that point too hard except to ask what’s next…handwriting all together?  Why don’t we just go straight to typing, I mean that’s what the gen x, y and Z are all the digital natives are doing anyway….right?!

Take a breath, this isn’t a debate on education. Nor is it a dialogue on handwriting.  Quite simply, I like giving and receiving hand written thank you notes.

Go on challenge me on this, think about the last time you received one. Did you smile? Did you think to yourself that it was probably a waste of their time?

My good friend, Erik works at Sprint.  He didn’t think it was too trivial when he started; Project Thank You.  What started with one hand written thank you note has spun into over 500, 000 hand written thank you notes from Sprint employees to customers last year alone. It all started with one note and one guy, who decided to exercise a age old tradition of hand writing a note.

No matter if it’s cursive or not, handwriting still holds power.  A simple hand written thank you note is still unbeaten by any other substitute.

 

Don’t Tell Me, Show Me

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It’s time we speak less and DO more.

We show people what we care about by our actions, not pontificating about what might be, what we will do someday, what we think or what we feel.  Sure those are all valid things to share but at the end of the day they don’t move the needle.

The first time I remember hearing this phrase I was talking about some big idea I had about a lawn business and making so much money I would be able to buy any car I wanted.  I was 9 years old.

Doc (my dad) would sit politely and listen and then look me straight in the eye and say…

Michael, don’t tell me, show me!

It stopped me.  It remind me that all the talking in the world wouldn’t get anything accomplished. In fact it takes up your most valuable asset, your time.

As it did most things it took real experiences where I did more talking than doing for this advice to really sink in.

Taking action moves others, it inspires people to join you where you are and venture together.  Think about it, when is the last time someone ran a marathon alone, started a business without help (or a client), got anyone to follow them into battle without charging up the hill first.  At some point they had to stop talking and start moving before anything happened.

The challenge Doc gave me is pertinent to us all…”don’t tell me, show me”.  It’s time we spend less hours talking and spend our effort DOing more.

Unplugged and Listening

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Taking (a little) time alone, unplugged, can really be a good thing.  I love doing life with others and living in community, but sometimes the best way to be ready for that is to unplug. It may be a little ironic writing about “unplugging” in a very connected format like a blog, but life is full of irony.

A good friend of mine and I went on a snowboarding trip to Colorado. On day three of that trip we were night riding at Keystone (something anyone who is into skiing or boarding should do!!). On our second run of the night I told him to ride on (he is a few levels above me anyhow), what happened then wasn’t anything you can really plan for.

For a solid 5-7 min I was alone on the mountain, it was lightly snowing that night, for the past few days it had drenched the mountains in snow and the wind had been gale force, but not that night, it was practically still. There was absolutely no one around me at all….I was ALONE, it was perfectly quiet except for a little whisper in the pines and the occasional sound of my board moving the snow as I glided down the hill. I couldn’t tell you the last time I felt so open, it’s easy to listen when there is no clutter. No ipod in my ear, no texts or emails hitting my phone, no computer in my face, it really was surreal. On top of that mountain, in the dark, alone, I felt more connected to the world than I had in months.

Coelho, one of my favorite authors talks about the ability to listen to the “language of the world”….and I can tell you, that night I was listening.

I guess sometimes it takes an effort to unplug, go for a walk (no ipod), sit in a chair (no tv blaring), read a book then sit and think about it, pray for longer than 3 min or any other manner of taking some time unplugged. While being connected to others is integral and we all need it, a little more time listening can do wonders (even if its only 5-7 min).

The Good Foot (or the Right Foot)

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Not too long ago I felt like the first one to the office was going to be the most respected (and best paid).

So the morning routine would be fairly rushed; get up as early as possible (as a night owl that means not much sleep), get ready as quickly as possible and arrive to work (usually by 7am)….yes as quickly as possible. I have heard it said that starting your day off on the “right foot” was critical to being happy, never gave it much thought though. But I was already “happy”….wasn’t I, running & racing through my busy life?!

If you noticed there was a pretty large void in my routine , there was no conversation, no breakfast of any kind, no devotion time, no newspaper or book, no news ingested by any method, nothing really of any significance or more importantly no thought of mental or physical health. But I was climbing the corporate ladder….didn’t that count?!

Fast forward…. new routine( and life);  prayer time or devotion most mornings (I’m reading through Walking With God by Eldredge right now) followed shortly by healthy breakfast and some news (web or mobile mostly). My wife and I are fortunate enough to eat breakfast together most mornings, which if you can swing it, is THE way to kick off your day. I still manage to be working in whatever capacity most days before many people have even grabbed their morning Starbucks, although my office looks a lot less like a cube these days than it used to.

All I can offer is the old adage of starting your day off on the “right foot” could not be more true! The morning is where the tempo is set, your energy and focus have a hard time catching up if you aren’t getting them stretched out in the AM.

So tomorrow….get on your good foot (or the right foot).

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