listeing Archives - MikeFarag.com

On Surviving Divorce “Successfully”

July 11, 2013 By Mike Farag 1 Comment

I often get asked, “How did you survive your divorce? You seem to really be happy now.”

One friend even confided in me years after my divorce, “I like you a lot more now.”

The answer is pretty simple:

I finally started relying on Christ more than I relied on myself – at least most days.

It didn’t happen overnight, however there’s something powerful about hitting your knees and really asking for Him to lead you. He will do it. It’s crazy.

We can argue about what it means to “survive” or what it means to be “happy”. All I can tell you is that when I began to listen, He began to provide – a whole new career, true healing, time, renewed passion for life, a perfect woman. Sounds good right?! Trust me I couldn’t have planned this.

To be sure, there are still times when the scars resurface. Most of the time it’s when I begin to add too much of me and not enough of God in my life; when I read the Word less; when I am off on my own thing. That’s when it’s the most difficult.

Come to think of it, this is true no matter if you are divorced or not. It just happens to be my story.

One thing that I would like to add about getting through a divorce is that if you are in the process of planning to get married, you might want to consider researching whether a prenuptial agreement might be right for you. One of my friends is currently in the early stages of getting a divorce, and although he is of course sad that his marriage has come to an end, taking out a prenuptial agreement has made the process of dividing his assets with his former wife so much easier.

Put simply, a prenuptial agreement is a document that couples can choose to sign before they get married. In short, this document outlines how property and assets should be divided if the relationship ends in divorce. A prenup can include anything from cash sums to intellectual property rights and shares. You can learn more about the benefits of putting a prenup in place by contacting a team of Los Angeles prenup attorneys or a team of family law specialists in your area.

Have you ever been through a divorce? If so, feel free to share your story below. Getting a divorce is not always going to be easy, but it is important to remember that you do not need to suffer in silence.

Give A Little, Take a Little

June 14, 2013 By Mike Farag Leave a Comment

Weddings are fun, such possibility. Such hope, so much promise an inspired life. That’s the easy part.

A long happy marriage isn’t easy. It seems to be a rarity these days.

This past week I attended the 50th wedding anniversary of some distant family (whom I’d never met).

I asked Jack, who was celebrating 50 years of marriage, a few questions about his marriage; was he happy and how can anyone else accomplish such a feat? Having been divorced, I am acutely aware that 50 years is no small task. And 50 years of being happy isn’t a real goal. But how to weather those years and strive for happiness is worth exploration for us all.

Jack said this; “Let God lead” and “Give a little, take a little”. I mulled this over for more and journaled about it. Here is what I managed to pull from someone who is bucking the trends;

First, we need to have faith to make it. The stats show that almost as many Christians get divorced as anyone else. We can’t let this stand guys. However, almost is a bit better than the same but let’s strive for a wider gap.
Second, it takes real working together to make it. If you are counting on your spouse to make you happy, think again. See #1 again and if that’s still not enough ask your self this question, what did your vows say? “Better or worse”? Why is that?
We have to really set practices in place to help ourselves be successful in marriage just like we do for our business/career (i.e. yearly counseling checkups, doing activities together besides watching TV, reading books together, challenging each other to be better, etc..). It won’t happen magically.

It’s not rocket science. It’s methodic. It’s intentionality. Working for 50 years takes effort on our part.

I’m working to “give a little and take a little” and letting “God lead” in my own marriage.

photo credit: Photos Edge

The Voice in Your Ear

May 10, 2013 By Mike Farag 2 Comments

Today, I took my mom for physical therapy following her knee replacement. We were in the waiting room when I noticed to a son and his mother making their way into the facility. The mother had obviously had a stroke and was disabled on her left side severely. Her hand and arm hung loose. She slowly shuffled in as her son, probably 19 or 20, helped her into the rehab facility, holding her and whispering in her ear the whole way.

I couldn’t hear what they were saying until they were right in front of me. When I did, I was struck what he was saying:

“You can do it mom, you are doing great!”

“Keep going, keep striving, Mom! Look how far you have come.”

“I know it’s hard, but you remember when you couldn’t even walk?!”

It was apparent that he cared a great deal for his mother, it was also clear that he believed in her. I could tell it made a difference in her belief in her ability as well.

The voice in her ear was kind, strong, encouraging and no doubt contributing greatly to her recovery.

Of course, that kind of encouragement works for recovery. But it’s bigger than that. It works for your marriage, your business, your career, your parenting. If the voice in your ear says “Leave her, it’s too hard” or “You’re not gonna make it as a manager” or “It’s too risky to venture out on your own,” sooner or later you will begin to believe it.

The voice in your ear is an important one for more than recovery. The voice in your ear matters for growth too. What’s being whispered to you? Are you spurred on to action or are you told to run and hide?

Choose carefully those who are whispering to you.

Unplugged and Listening

March 4, 2013 By Mike Farag Leave a Comment

Taking (a little) time alone, unplugged, can really be a good thing. I love doing life with others and living in community, but sometimes the best way to be ready for that is to unplug. It may be a little ironic writing about “unplugging” in a very connected format like a blog, but life is full of irony.

A good friend of mine and I went on a snowboarding trip to Colorado. On day three of that trip we were night riding at Keystone (something anyone who is into skiing or boarding should do!!). On our second run of the night I told him to ride on (he is a few levels above me anyhow), what happened then wasn’t anything you can really plan for.

For a solid 5-7 min I was alone on the mountain, it was lightly snowing that night, for the past few days it had drenched the mountains in snow and the wind had been gale force, but not that night, it was practically still. There was absolutely no one around me at all….I was ALONE, it was perfectly quiet except for a little whisper in the pines and the occasional sound of my board moving the snow as I glided down the hill. I couldn’t tell you the last time I felt so open, it’s easy to listen when there is no clutter. No ipod in my ear, no texts or emails hitting my phone, no computer in my face, it really was surreal. On top of that mountain, in the dark, alone, I felt more connected to the world than I had in months.

Coelho, one of my favorite authors talks about the ability to listen to the “language of the world”….and I can tell you, that night I was listening.

I guess sometimes it takes an effort to unplug, go for a walk (no ipod), sit in a chair (no tv blaring), read a book then sit and think about it, pray for longer than 3 min or any other manner of taking some time unplugged. While being connected to others is integral and we all need it, a little more time listening can do wonders (even if its only 5-7 min).

I finally started relying on Christ more than I relied on myself – at least most days.

Let’s Connect

FERVOR