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The Voice in Your Ear

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Today, I took my mom for physical therapy following her knee replacement. We were in the waiting room when I noticed to a son and his mother making their way into the facility. The mother had obviously had a stroke and was disabled on her left side severely. Her hand and arm hung loose. She slowly shuffled in as her son, probably 19 or 20, helped her into the rehab facility, holding her and whispering in her ear the whole way.

I couldn’t hear what they were saying until they were right in front of me. When I did, I was struck what he was saying:

“You can do it mom, you are doing great!”

“Keep going, keep striving, Mom! Look how far you have come.”

“I know it’s hard, but you remember when you couldn’t even walk?!”

It was apparent that he cared a great deal for his mother, it was also clear that he believed in her. I could tell it made a difference in her belief in her ability as well.

The voice in her ear was kind, strong, encouraging and no doubt contributing greatly to her recovery.

Of course, that kind of encouragement works for recovery. But it’s bigger than that. It works for your marriage, your business, your career, your parenting. If the voice in your ear says “Leave her, it’s too hard” or “You’re not gonna make it as a manager” or “It’s too risky to venture out on your own,” sooner or later you will begin to believe it.

The voice in your ear is an important one for more than recovery. The voice in your ear matters for growth too. What’s being whispered to you? Are you spurred on to action or are you told to run and hide?

Choose carefully those who are whispering to you.

Know Your WHO: charity water

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I attended BIG KC, a two-and-a-half day event that aims to inspire, educate and celebrate the entrepreneurial ecosystem in the heart of the Midwest. Produced by Silicon Prairie News, the conference started as Big Omaha as early as 2010 and this was their first year in KC.

Good event, overall. But honestly, I love more interaction and some of the speakers weren’t as prepared to share their content or story as they could have been. They missed their WHY and WHO.

There were a few who didn’t – one whom I’ve admired for several years: Scott Harrison from charity: water. He started with a simple presentation formula:

  1. Tell them what you’re going to tell them
  2. Tell them
  3. Tell them what you told them and ask them to come with you

He wove his personal story with the story of the water crisis and put a face on the people who where engaged in helping. We could see ourselves in those pictures and stories. It’s not rocket science: we all want to be part of something bigger than ourselves and we innately want to join others who are as passionate as we are about something specific. Scott did a great job of engaging the audience with that fact.

 

 

It puts a personal picture on a very serious issue: WHY Scott does what he does. Perhaps even more impactful is WHO is engaging in this effort to impact the world. It’s not difficult to identify people and groups that have similar qualities. I’m not talking about simple demographic qualities, but behavioral and personal passions.

At Fervor, we call this WHO: The People Strategy. It’s diving into the top three people groups you and your organization work with and want to replicate. Not everyone, just the ones who your story clicks with, the ones who give you and your organization energy. These are your advocates.

Yes, it means that you leave some people out. Thats okay. In fact, it’s imperative in order to grow.

Knowing your WHO lets you tell their story and gather more of them.

 

The Missing Circle: Know Your WHO

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“People don’t buy what you do, they buy WHY you do it” – Simon Sinek

If you haven’t seen or heard of Simon Sinek, you need to. His video is totally worth 18 minutes of your life. It could change your business.

Simon prescribes his “Golden Circle” and tells us to start with why. This works. Mission, Vision, Values are great. They can sound stoic and static and end up hanging on a wall somewhere instead of residing in our hearts and minds. Many times, stopping there leaves us wondering: how does it relate to me? I have reworked Simon’s golden circle as a simple way to help people and organizations really explain their story.

Copyright Mike Farag

In my corporate days, we would spend millions of dollars, time, and energy trying to delineate market segments with; quantitative, demographic and even some behavioral data. And that’s where the missing circle comes in. It’s where the rubber meets the road.

Why, How and What are key elements to understanding and communicating a person or business’ story. But who do we tell that story to and how should we tell it? With so many channels available to us today, how do we know which to use without knowing who our best clients are?

 

WHY + WHO = Amazing Results

I have seen it. Why is powerful. Why works.  It might be easy to think of it this way: Why is 15,000 foot view, How is 10,000, What is 5,000 and Who puts the plane on the ground.

It starts with why, it ends with who.

Don’t Tell Me, Show Me

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dosomething

It’s time we speak less and DO more.

We show people what we care about by our actions, not pontificating about what might be, what we will do someday, what we think or what we feel.  Sure those are all valid things to share but at the end of the day they don’t move the needle.

The first time I remember hearing this phrase I was talking about some big idea I had about a lawn business and making so much money I would be able to buy any car I wanted.  I was 9 years old.

Doc (my dad) would sit politely and listen and then look me straight in the eye and say…

Michael, don’t tell me, show me!

It stopped me.  It remind me that all the talking in the world wouldn’t get anything accomplished. In fact it takes up your most valuable asset, your time.

As it did most things it took real experiences where I did more talking than doing for this advice to really sink in.

Taking action moves others, it inspires people to join you where you are and venture together.  Think about it, when is the last time someone ran a marathon alone, started a business without help (or a client), got anyone to follow them into battle without charging up the hill first.  At some point they had to stop talking and start moving before anything happened.

The challenge Doc gave me is pertinent to us all…”don’t tell me, show me”.  It’s time we spend less hours talking and spend our effort DOing more.

Don’t Use a Shotgun When a .22 Will Do

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Growing up I heard this advice often: don’t use a shotgun when a .22 will do.

I thought I understood, but it wasn’t until recently that I really began practicing this wisdom.

My dad was great at giving advice like this. Perhaps it came from him being a high school football coach, a government teacher, or having a Doctorate in Education – which earned him the nickname Doc. He was great at putting things in perspective for me. He coached me. He taught me. He shared this kind of wisdom with me early on and still to this day.

I learned the hard way, this little gem is one of those things you have to fail at to really get (at least I did). I was working at a prominent Cable company as a sales manager and had the responsibility of managing multiple sales channels. At one point a staff of 30 looked to me, a young manager, for guidance.  I was in the habit of sending out broadcast emails with sweeping policy changes when something would happen that wasn’t in line with my expectations. I’d use the shotgun. If one person messed up it was only a matter of time before others committed the same “crime”, or at least that’s how my mind worked. I didn’t trust. I used the shotgun instead of the .22 caliber.

I’d love to say that it’s easy to overcome this problem, but that wouldn’t be the truth. I now recognize it much more often, in my own business and others [like when Yahoo! says no more work at home] but I still have to work to employ this advice.

So when you want to copy everyone on that email, think twice. When you want to make sweeping changes because a few are abusing a privilege [even Yahoo! does it], think twice. When you are about to change a policy because of one or just a few, think twice and don’t use the shotgun... use the .22.

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